We scoop. We spray. We take it away.
The weekly dog waste removal service for people who love their dogs — and would love their garden back. We appear, the crap disappears, and your garden is fresh to enjoy.
- Same day, every week
- Pet-safe sanitiser
- Gate photo every visit
- Cancel whenever
Same day, every week
Whatever the reason you need us — no judgement.
Nobody dreams of spending Saturday morning on poo patrol. Whoever you are, however it got like this, we've seen worse. Promise.
The busy week
The garden went feral somewhere between Monday and Friday. You've got enough on. Consider it handled.
The multi-dog household
Three dogs? Cute faces, industrial output. We clear the lot, every week, without blinking.
Knees, hips & backs
Can't bend like you used to? That's exactly what we're for. No fuss, and the same friendly face at your gate every week.
Doctor's orders
After surgery, an injury, or with a new baby in the house — "no heavy bending" includes the garden. We've got it from here.
Like a fairy godmother, but for dog poo. You keep the dog. We'll keep the lawn.
In. Done. Gone.
Say hello
Tell us about your garden and your dog(s). Message, call or use the form — whatever's easiest.
We meet you and the dog
No hard sell. Garden, hello, price to your face. If it's a yes, we book your weekly day.
Your weekly visit
Same day every week, rain or shine. We finish every visit the same way: gate shut, photo sent, dog safe.
What every single visit includes.
Every last one
Corners, borders, behind the shed. The whole garden — no jobbie too big, no jobbie too small.
Pet-safe sanitiser
Picking it up is only half the job. Every soiled spot gets a pet-safe spray — it actually gets rid of the smell, unlike bleach.
Not in your bin. Off in the van.
We take the waste away with us, so your bin stays fresh. Prefer your own bin? We'll double-bag it — and knock £1 off every visit.
Gate shut. Photo sent.
Every visit ends with a photo of your closed gate, sent straight to you. Dog safe, garden done, peace of mind.
Rain or shine
Same day, every week — that's the whole point. British weather doesn't get a vote.
No small print
No minimum term. No exit fee. Cancel whenever. Billed monthly in advance — that's the lot.
Prices on the card. Same for everyone.
Happy for us to use your wheelie bin? £1 off every visit. One-off and catch-up clears too — see the full breakdown.
The Founding 20.
Our first 20 customers get their first visit free — whatever state the garden is in — and their price held for a full twelve months.
Once they're gone, they're gone.
Grab a founding spot
You may have seen us about.
Southport & West Lancs first. Your town next?
Our first patch covers Southport, Formby, Ormskirk and Burscough. More territories are on the way as A Load of Crap grows across the UK.
- PR8
- PR9
- L37
- L39
- L40
People really pay for this?
They really do. Here's what people ask before their first visit.
Do I need to be home when you visit?
Nope. As long as we can get to the garden (side gate, keysafe — whatever works for you), we'll do the job and send your gate photo when we're done — ideal while you're at work.
What happens to the waste?
It leaves with us in the van, so your bin stays fresh. If you'd rather we double-bag it into your own wheelie bin, that's £1 off every visit.
Can my dog be in the garden while you work?
Usually, yes — we meet you and the dog before we start precisely so visits are relaxed for everyone. Dogs tend to decide we're the most interesting thing to happen all week.
Right then. Ready for a crap-free garden?
First visit free for the Founding 20. No minimum term, no exit fee — just your garden back.